Dear lovely fellow residents of our wee city, most especially Ye Who Jog:
We are truly blessed to live in such a splendid little city, aren't we? Next to the ocean, not too far from Boston, not too far from open fields and forests. From its bustling "downtown" area, to its sprawling suburbs, it is lush with green and flowering trees, it offers many dining, entertainment and shopping options, and it boasts a wonderfully well-maintained infrastructure. The streets are thoroughly plowed in winter, and kept swept clean the rest of the year. And nearly each and every one of those streets - from the outskirts of town, right through the heart of it - have smoothly paved and manicured sidewalks, sometimes on BOTH sides of the street!
But you wouldn't know that, would you, oh jogging aficionado? Because YOU are special! YOU get to jog in the streets! In traffic, no less! Vehicular travelers be damned! Cyclists can just move aside - push them further into traffic! Because YOU are jogging! The rest of the world? They can just go to hell or go around, because you OWN that street!
Only... you don't.
All kidding aside, joggers of our fair burg: with the coming of the fair weather came the departure of my patience for your ass. Which is in my lane. During rush hour. Frequently. There are sidewalks for a damn reason, people. The law says I can't drive on them, so I suggest you familiarize yourself with them.
Additional note to you swell folk who cross in the middle of the block: the downtown area has four crosswalks at every intersection, of which there are quite a few, affording you numerous opportunities to cross a busy street safely. I understand that you may not feel like moving to one, and I applaud your resolve. However, please bear in mind that, while the law requires me to stop if you are in a crosswalk, there is not a damn thing that says I have to stop in the middle of a block to let you "dash" to the other side of the street. While I may choose to, depending on traffic and my schedule, I highly recommend that you don't expect me to. If I do not, you should know that screaming obscenities and flashing hand gestures at me will change nothing, aside from making you look like a bigger moron.
Pedestrians, it all comes down to that quaint nautical concept called the "rule of tonnage". The estimated curb weight of my 2001 Honda Accord is around 2,943 pounds; your weight is significantly less. Unless you are completely suicidal, I cannot imagine how this imbalance could be less than glaringly obvious to you.
I live here, too.
Bicyclists? Get the hell OFF the sidewalks, please? Some of us still use them!